๐“๐ซ๐š๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐š๐ง๐ 3 ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐‘๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ (๐€. ๐Œ๐ž๐ง๐๐ž๐ฅ๐ฅ) – ๐’˜๐’‰๐’š ๐’Ž๐’๐’”๐’• ๐’•๐’“๐’‚๐’๐’”๐’Š๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’” ๐’‚๐’“๐’† ๐’Š๐’๐’„๐’๐’Ž๐’‘๐’๐’†๐’•๐’†?

Coaching transition, transitions, coaching

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๐“๐ซ๐š๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐š๐ง๐ 3 ๐ฅ๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐‘๐ž๐š๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ (๐€. ๐Œ๐ž๐ง๐๐ž๐ฅ๐ฅ) – ๐’˜๐’‰๐’š ๐’Ž๐’๐’”๐’• ๐’•๐’“๐’‚๐’๐’”๐’Š๐’•๐’Š๐’๐’๐’” ๐’‚๐’“๐’† ๐’Š๐’๐’„๐’๐’Ž๐’‘๐’๐’†๐’•๐’†?

People focus on what’s visible: career moves, relationship decisions, better habits…and while they try to change elements of their structure, they remain in the same structure. Change feels incomplete.

Let’s explore why?

๐“๐ก๐ž ๐–๐š๐ญ๐ž๐ซ ๐Œ๐ž๐ญ๐š๐ฉ๐ก๐จ๐ซ: ๐“๐ก๐ซ๐ž๐ž ๐’๐ญ๐š๐ญ๐ž๐ฌ, ๐“๐ก๐ซ๐ž๐ž ๐‹๐ž๐ฏ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฌ

Arnold Mindell described three levels of reality that we constantly move through:
๐‘ช๐’๐’๐’”๐’†๐’๐’”๐’–๐’” ๐‘น๐’†๐’‚๐’๐’Š๐’•๐’š โ€” what is happening (your visible, structured life)
๐‘ซ๐’“๐’†๐’‚๐’Ž๐’๐’‚๐’๐’… โ€” what is emerging (inner signals, unformed patterns, subtle knowing)
๐‘ฌ๐’”๐’”๐’†๐’๐’„๐’†ย โ€” who you are beyond both (pure potential, the source)
I use the metaphor of the different states of water to make it more tangible.
โ„๏ธ Ice = Consensus Reality
Your life has structure, form, and stability. Roles. Identity. Decisions that have crystallized.
๐Ÿ’ง Liquid = Dreamland
Form has dissolved. You’re in movement, uncertainty, flow. Signals are emerging but not yet clear.
โ˜๏ธ Vapour = Essence
Beyond form entirely. Pure potential. The deeper source from which everything arises.
๐‘ด๐’๐’”๐’• ๐’‘๐’†๐’๐’‘๐’๐’† ๐’•๐’“๐’š ๐’•๐’ ๐’ˆ๐’ ๐’…๐’Š๐’“๐’†๐’„๐’•๐’๐’š ๐’‡๐’“๐’๐’Ž ๐’๐’๐’† ๐’Š๐’„๐’† ๐’„๐’–๐’ƒ๐’† ๐’•๐’ ๐’‚๐’๐’๐’•๐’‰๐’†๐’“.
They stay at the level of consensus reality โ€” reshaping structure without ever accessing the deeper states.
That’s why change feels forced, fragile, or incomplete.

Transition requires melting, evaporating, and re-forming, and they operate at a different level of reality:

๐‘ท๐’‰๐’‚๐’”๐’† 1: ๐‘ฌ๐’๐’…๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’‚ ๐‘ช๐’‰๐’‚๐’‘๐’•๐’†๐’“

โ†ณ Level: Consensus Reality (Ice)

โ†ณ You’re still in the structure โ€” but you sense something is over.

โ†ณ What once defined you no longer feels true.

โ†ณ This phase asks you to acknowledge the ending and begin to loosen your grip on the old form.

โ†ณ The ice is beginning to crack.

๐‘ท๐’‰๐’‚๐’”๐’† 2: ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’† ๐‘ฐ๐’-๐‘ฉ๐’†๐’•๐’˜๐’†๐’†๐’

โ†ณ Level: Dreamland (Liquid)

โ†ณ The old structure has dissolved. The new hasn’t yet formed.

โ†ณ Clarity refuses to arrive. You’re suspended in uncertainty.

โ†ณ Signals are emerging, but they’re subtle, unclear, contradictory.

โ†ณ This is where most people panic and try to force a new “ice cube” prematurely.

โ†ณ But this phase is not confusion. It’s high potential not yet structured.

๐‘ท๐’‰๐’‚๐’”๐’† 3: ๐‘ป๐’‰๐’“๐’†๐’”๐’‰๐’๐’๐’… ๐’๐’‡ ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐‘ต๐’†๐’˜ ๐‘ช๐’‰๐’‚๐’‘๐’•๐’†๐’“

โ†ณ Level: Essence (Vapour) beginning to condense

โ†ณ You’ve accessed something deeper โ€” beyond roles, beyond identity.

โ†ณ A new direction feels present but not fully formed.

โ†ณ Language is emerging. Alignment is felt, not yet decided.

โ†ณ This phase asks for discernment: small, aligned actions โ€” not big, forced leaps.

โ†ณ The vapour is beginning to gather, to coalesce.

๐‘ท๐’‰๐’‚๐’”๐’† 4: ๐‘ฌ๐’Ž๐’ƒ๐’๐’…๐’Š๐’†๐’… ๐‘จ๐’ˆ๐’†๐’๐’„๐’š

โ†ณ Level: Consensus Reality (Ice) โ€” but transformed

โ†ณ The new form has crystallized.

โ†ณ Action feels coherent. Decisions arise with ease.

โ†ณ You recognize yourself in what you’re doing.

โ†ณ A new ice cube โ€” but one that came from the deeper source.

โ„๏ธ Ice (old form)

โ†’ ๐Ÿ’ง Liquid (dissolution, uncertainty)

โ†’ โ˜๏ธ Vapour (essence, pure potential)

โ†’ โ„๏ธ Ice (new form, transformed)

Most people skip the uncomfortable middle part, Dreamland, and never touch Essence.

That’s why transitions feel stuck, forced, or incomplete.

In my work, I guide people to:

โœ“ Acknowledge what is ending (even when it’s uncomfortable)

โœ“ Stay present in the liquid state (without rushing to false clarity)

โœ“ Access the deeper source (essence, not just strategy)

โœ“ Re-form from alignment (embodied agency, not willpower)

This is not about thinking harder.

It’s about allowing the old form to dissolve, dropping into what is deeper, and consciously reshaping your life from there.

If you’re in a transition, ask yourself:

โŒ “What should I do next?” (consensus reality only)

โœ… “What level of reality am I operating from?”

Am I trying to reshape the ice?

Am I willing to let it melt?

Am I willing to become liquid โ€” uncertain, formless โ€” before the new emerges?

Am I accessing what is deeper, or just rearranging what is visible?

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